After completion of my doctoral program, I have always desired to have a second chance to study in another PhD program. Not only desired but also spoke the desire to others including even students in class. Nobody realised why I had such abnormal hope. I finished my master and doctoral in computer science three years and a half. Topics I chose are all attractive to reviewers and easy to publish papers within six to eight month research. I followed what the popular manual in the States says, "How to survive the grad schools". I was twenty eight years old when the master program began so that I was hasten to earn the degree and find a job.
I always felt bad to myself on my choice of the topcis. Why didn't I do what I really wanted to study, even if it were difficult or time-consuming to complete? I prayed God to give me a second chance. No, I asked Him to give a third chance; I did not go to the department of system sciences and entered the law school, though I wanted to learn more scientific topics in the early twenty. In a daily return way to home, I often asked the Lord for an opportunity to do that again. It is a greedy desire that I casted away once by myself, really.
But, He is giving me such a great gift to me through my friends. I have done and am doing another "PhD program" that I by myself designed and in which I trained myself like a tailor-maid course since this winter. God has given me a great mentor who is also a christian. I am back to a PhD program in computational biology that is prepared only for me! Furthermore, He has provided me with daily nice food and a beautiful shelter, a marvelous forest for walk and mate student friends!
I love a poem known as "Footprints in the Sand". I quote;
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."; Quote ends.
These two years I was in trouble. He raised me up and allowed me not to walk on the sand of heat due to malice. Every morning I stood before a mirror, I always found the face full of disappointment in there, often anger against unfair hatred. I really hated to see my own face that was becoming too bad with anguish. Now, I don't need to feel in such a way. My soul is in the hands of the Lord and everything is prepared thanks a His giving. I admit that God is great and full of love. He knows everything and can time the delivery of his gifts to you.
I am forty now. I was always told that you have a barrier due to age that lets you give up the life of scientist. No! God gives you revival that is a kind of another birth based on pray. I evidence his greatness. If you are almost giving up doing research or whatever, you may pray and keep faith to Him; He surely gives you a chance to do so. Believe God. He is beyond all of us. He knows what to be done. Maybe, no surely, He has decided that it is the time. Oh, you are great, Lord!